Archives: Books

Battlestar Suburbia

  • Publication date: 20/09/2018
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421027
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421010
  • Audiobook ISBN: 9781788421034
Battlestar Suburbia 1

Battlestar Suburbia

Chris McCrudden, Chris McCrudden (narrator)

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In space, no one can hear you clean…

When Darren’s charge-cart gets knocked off the Earth-to-Mars highway and lost in space forever, he thinks his day can’t get any worse.

When Kelly sees Darren accidentally short-circuit a talking lamppost, and its camera captures her face as it expires, she thinks her day can’t get any worse.

When Pamasonic Teffal, a sentient breadmaker, is sent on a top-secret mission into the depths of the internet and betrayed by her boss, a power-crazed smartphone, she knows this is only the beginning of a day that isn’t going to get any better.

Join Darren, Kelly and Pam in an anarchic comic adventure that takes them from the shining skyscrapers of Singulopolis to the sewers of the Dolestar Discovery, and find out what happens when a person puts down their mop and bucket and says ‘No.’ Battlestar Suburbia will be loved by fans of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and Jasper Fforde, as well as anyone who’s ever wondered just how long someone can stay under one of those old-fashioned hairdryers.*

 *The answer is: a really very, very long time.

What readers are saying:

“I loved this book.  I legit laughed through the entire novel and I am excited that there will be a sequel.” Terra C

“A brilliant mix of sci-fi, humor, and those hundreds of little things that make a memorable story.  McCrudden is destined to become synonymous with great sci-fi humor.” Christopher H

A deliciously hilarious romp which skirts the realms of credibility but provides a wild ride which kept me very much entertained throughout. It’s bonkers, it’s mad and …. so exaggerated to almost be genius in its execution.” Kath B

“Featuring a kindly bread-maker, ancient nana-cyborgs, a moving hairdressers and a chance to avert a nuclear bomb, it’s both great fun and very clever.” Ruth M

“Battlestar Suburbia highlights the absurdity of life, and the adaptability of individuals in unusual situations. McCrudden’s novel will appeal to fans of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, or anyone looking for an escape only loosely connected to reality.” Stephenie S

This was a trip! Some great one-lines & puns help create this future world where the machines have taken over. With evil smartphones, anti-hero humans, & a motherly bread maker pushed to the edge…”   Caroline F

Editorial reviews:

“Chris McCrudden has created a new division of SF: Science Flotsam. His sprawling space epic is what you get if you cross Dr Who with an unhealthy fascination for household appliances. Forget alien invasion; in this explosive future you won’t be able to trust your spin dryer.” Christopher Fowler

“McCrudden’s debut is festooned with cunning punnery, sharp turns of phrase, and jokes about emojis and the internet, making this very much a comic novel of our times.” James Lovegrove, Financial Times

“an amusing and mind-bending read… different, a little geeky, and lots of fun.” LoveReading

“An extraordinary technical achievement that does for SF what Terry Pratchett did for fantasy.” David Quantick

 

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The Truth About Archie and Pye

  • Publication date: 04/10/2018
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421086
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421072
A Mathematical Mystery 1

The Truth About Archie and Pye

Jonathan Pinnock

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Something doesn’t add up about Archie and Pye…

After a disastrous day at work, disillusioned junior PR executive Tom Winscombe finds himself sharing a train carriage and a dodgy Merlot with George Burgess, biographer of the Vavasor twins, mathematicians Archimedes and Pythagoras, who both died in curious circumstances a decade ago.

Burgess himself will die tonight in an equally odd manner, leaving Tom with a locked case and a lot of unanswered questions.

Join Tom and a cast of disreputable and downright dangerous characters in this witty thriller set in a murky world of murder, mystery and complex equations, involving internet conspiracy theorists, hedge fund managers, the Belarusian mafia and a cat called µ.

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Life, Death and Cellos

  • Publication date: 24/01/2019
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421116
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421102
The Stockwell Park Orchestra Series 1

Life, Death and Cellos

Isabel Rogers

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Classical music can be a dangerous pastime…

What with love affairs, their conductor dropping dead, a stolen cello and no money, Stockwell Park Orchestra is having a fraught season.

After Mrs Ford-Hughes is squashed and injured by a dying guest conductor mid-concert, she and her husband withdraw their generous financial backing, leaving the orchestra broke and unsure of its future.

Cellist Erin suggests a recovery plan, but since it involves their unreliable leader, Fenella, playing a priceless Stradivari cello which then goes missing, it’s not a fool-proof one. Joshua, the regular conductor, can’t decide which affair to commit to, while manager David’s nervous tic returns at every doom-laden report from the orchestra’s treasurer.

There is one way to survive, but is letting a tone-deaf diva sing Strauss too high a price to pay? And will Stockwell Park Orchestra live to play another season?

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Christmas Secrets by the Sea

  • Publication date: 13/12/2018
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421205
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421225
Seasons by the Sea 1

Christmas Secrets by the Sea

Jane Lovering

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Christmas by the sea – that sounds romantic, right?

Tansy Merriweather is down on her luck. She’s lost her business and her relationship, and instead of a glamorous London apartment, her home is now a campervan on a Dorset beach. And as if things couldn’t get any worse, a scruffy dog called Brian with a taste for sardines has adopted her.

When Tansy’s new-found friends at the cafe in the bay help her find a job as a location scout for a new TV show, things start looking up. However, when she finds herself babysitting the show’s grouchy star, Davin O’Riordan, she’s not sure she wants to stay around. But when Brian forges a touching romance with Davin’s elegant whippet Seelie, Tansy begins to see another side to Davin.

As Christmas approaches, secrets emerge and Tansy and Davin discover a bond between them. But how will they cope with the storms headed their way – and can they save the cafe from closing?

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Watch the Wall, Miss Seeton

  • Publication date: 21/02/2019
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421167
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421157
A Miss Seeton Mystery 24

Watch the Wall, Miss Seeton

Hamilton Crane, Heron Carvic

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Have the smugglers made a grave mistake?

Customs & Excise are tracking a gang of cigar-smugglers who operate on the quiet Kent coast near Plummergen, home to retired art teacher Miss Emily Seeton. Their attempt at a midnight ambush goes wrong, and a man is found dead.

As Miss Seeton sketches the most notorious tomb in Plummergen churchyard – the one built for 19th-century smuggler Abraham Voller – she meets a young American tourist. He claims to be a descendant of the Voller family, but is he a truly innocent ancestor-hunter, or do smugglers inherit their trade?

When the school concert includes a performance of Kipling’s “A Smuggler’s Song” it begins to seem that everyone is at it … but we can rely on Miss Seeton to ensure that the police will get their man, and the smugglers’ dreams will go up in smoke!

Serene amidst every kind of skulduggery, this eccentric English spinster steps in where Scotland Yard stumbles, armed with nothing more than her sketchpad and umbrella.

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Beyond the Gravy

  • Publication date: 16/05/2019
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421000
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788420990
The No. 2 Feline Detective Agency 7

Beyond the Gravy

Mandy Morton

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Psychic cat Irene Peggledrip is being visited by a band of malevolent spirits who all claim to be murderers. Not only is their message disturbing, but they cause chaos with indoor snowstorms, flying books and the untimely demise of a delicious Victoria sponge. Irene calls in Hettie and Tilly of the No. 2 Feline Detective Agency to help, but they’re not sure how far their skills reach into the spirit realm.

Meanwhile, Lavender Stamp, the town’s bad-tempered postmistress cat, has some good news to deliver to Tilly: she has won a competition to take afternoon tea with renowned mystery writer Agatha Crispy at her Devon home, Furaway House.

Will Hettie and Tilly finally lay the ghosts to rest? Can Molly Bloom’s new café survive the seance? And will the moving claw give up its secrets before the gravy congeals? Find out in this latest adventure of our favourite feline sleuths.

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Battle Beyond the Dolestars

  • Publication date: 19/09/2019
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421051
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421041
Battlestar Suburbia 2

Battle Beyond the Dolestars

Chris McCrudden

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Time for the Machine Republic to Kurl Up and Dye

It’s a year since the Battlestar Suburbia broke free from Earth and the human rebellion is hiding out in the asteroid belt. Their leader, Admiral Janice, is assembling a fleet she hopes can topple robot rule – except on Wednesday afternoons when she can do you a half head of highlights for 30 quid.

Janice has given Darren, now the reluctant captain of the teenage starship Polari, a critical mission, to open up a path back to Earth by bombing the Martian Gap Services. But when it goes wrong and Darren and his crew are chased deep into the solar system, Janice has only one hope left, back on Earth.

Here, sentient breadmaker Pamasonic Teffal is resisting the human–machine war the best way she knows how: by running for office. Until a distress signal from Janice persuades her to get her turbo-charged alter ego Pam Van Damme out of mothballs, that is…

Can Pam save the solar system and rescue Kelly from the clutches of her nemesis, the crazed smartphone-turned-cyborg, Sonny Erikzon? Find out in another anarchic comic adventure from the inimitable Chris McCrudden.

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The Cuckoos of Batch Magna

  • Publication date: 09/05/2019
  • Paperback ISBN: 178842123X
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421256
The Batch Magna Chronicles 1

The Cuckoos of Batch Magna

Peter Maughan

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When Sir Humphrey Strange, 8th Baronet and squire of Batch Magna, departs this world for the Upper House, what’s left of his estate passes, through the ancient law of entailment, to distant relative Humph, an amiable, overweight short-order cook from the Bronx.

Sir Humphrey Franklin T. Strange, 9th Baronet and squire of Batch Magna, as Humph now most remarkably finds himself to be, is persuaded by his Uncle Frank, a small-time Wall Street broker, to make a killing by turning the sleepy backwater into a theme-park image of rural England, a playground for the world’s rich.

But while the village pub and shop put out the Stars and Stripes in welcome, the tenants of the estate’s dilapidated houseboats tear up their notices to quit, and led by pulp-crime writer Phineas Cook and the one-eyed Lt-Commander James Cunningham, they run up the Union Jack and prepare to engage.

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Sir Humphrey of Batch Hall

  • Publication date: 30/05/2019
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421264
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421287
The Batch Magna Chronicles 2

Sir Humphrey of Batch Hall

Peter Maughan

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Welcome to Batch Magna, a place where anything might happen. And often does…

When the old squire of Batch Magna died, the life of distant relative Humphrey, an amiable, overweight short-order cook from the Bronx, turned into a movie. Now, as Sir Humphrey, he has acquired not only a new title but also a new love: the Honourable Clementine Wroxley. He and Clem plan to marry, settle into Batch Hall and begin a new life together.

Their finances at this early stage rest on the estate’s shooting and fishing, stepping stones to a more secure future. But one day a cold wind from beyond their valley visits Batch Magna in the shape of badger baiters discovered in Cutterbach Wood. They are routed, but their defeat entails such disaster that Humphrey and Clem are driven to the wall, left with no way out but to sell the estate, and their future along with it.

And then Miss Wyndham, village spinster and amateur sleuth, rides to the rescue on the 49 bus…

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A Question of Trust

  • Publication date: 18/04/2019
  • Paperback ISBN: 1788421523
  • eBook ISBN: 9781788421515
A Mathematical Mystery 2

A Question of Trust

Jonathan Pinnock

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A witty, fast-paced thriller with a dash of mathematics and a large dose of danger

Life is not going smoothly for Tom Winscombe. His girlfriend Dorothy has vanished, taking with her all the equipment and money of the company she ran with her friend Ali. Now Tom and Ali are forced to eke out an awkward shared bedsit existence while they try to work out what she is up to.

Meanwhile, Tom has other things on his mind, including how to untangle his father from a cryptocurrency scam, how to break into a hospital in order to interrogate an old acquaintance and what is the significance of the messages he’s been receiving from Rufus Fairbanks’s LinkedIn account.

Tom and Ali’s investigations lead them in a host of unexpected and frankly dangerous directions, involving a pet python, an offshore stag do and an improbable application of the Fibonacci sequence. But at the end of it all, will they find Dorothy – and will she ever be able to explain just exactly what is going on?

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